4 days post-op .... & SOME

Wow! I'm officially saying this... 4days post-op...all I can truly say is that these last 4 days have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions, extreme pain, exhaustion, meeting I can't tell you HOW many different doctors, & god knows what else...

I'm not going to get into extreme details about my surgery at this time just because I'm still heavily medicated & when I type those blogs relating to surgery, I'd like for them to have detail & such... What I've heard on numerous occasions,that I can confirm, is that the surgery went very well, my surgeon was very pleased with how the islet extraction went & that my pancreas was very diseased when she removed it... Thank god that organ is FINALLY out of my system for good!

We've had a rough time with getting my epidural and pain pump levels to where they need to be... Ive been battling some major shoulder pain, contributed from the diaphragm being irritated during surgery so much, along with physical placement on the OR table.. Doesn't help matters::my parents were told it was like laying on concrete for 10hrs.. ouch), & of course abdominal pain.
The epidural is definitely doing it's job pain wise and will not be removed for a few days , as well as my pain pump... I'm taking some oral medications now, but towards the end of my stay everything will transition to all oral until I'm at that point of getting off them for good!! (I'll be having a party that day... Along with a party when I'm feeling like my normal self again! )

Thank you!! Thank you so very much to everyone who kept in close contact with my parents, Yiayia and Papou, along with friends & their friends!! I feel so blessed beyond words & there just aren't enough words in the dictionary for me to describe how grateful I am for each & every one of you!!! I love you all & hold a very special place in my heart!!

           Mini update ¦ September 1st:

It has been a difficult few days, but we've made lots of progress as well.. My legs & belly are extremely swollen, & thats very painful... Hopefully that'll go down the more I can start to move & be mobile :)
I'm pretty much off all of my drips except my study drug right now... Awesomeness right?! I according to the doctors I'm doing great... My femoral A-line has been removed, which means I have to prick my fingers for blood sugars now, blows a little but I can handle it... I brought my own lancet to do it myself so it's been all good... My pain pump was removed & I'm on some heavy PO meds, along with IV breakthrough, which has been used very steadily to be honest... My epidural & abdominal drain are still in but that is it.. I need to do a a couple things that have been very difficult... Eating is one of those things... I have no appetite & just having a hard time adjusting to this diabetic diet thing... Who being in the hospital where I'm being monitored by the minute..everything will happen when it's suppose to happen & i know that but recovery is h.a.r.d!!!
Thank you so much again for your continued support, encouragement, love & prayers...they're felt & loved SO much! Keep them up for me bc the difficult parts of this tasks haven't ended yet!
                       Much love always ‹3

L.i.M.B.O

Have you ever been stuck in limbo? Thats where we are at right now.. The most frustrating feeling ever!
I have been waiting for a "phone call" to get a potential surgery date for 4 weeks now.. & before that, even weeks prior. It's just an irritating process, when I am in a ton of pain, trying to make an incredibly hard decision on whether to change this dang pancreatic stent out or not prior to my total pancreatectomy or just ride it out..my doctor doesn't know what to do, I don't know what to do.. Like I said LIMBO! If I change it out, I'll be in the hospital for a week bc of my pancreas.. If I don't I could be putting myself at risk bc of the length of time the stent has been in there for... If I change it out I could/probably Will damage more of my very important islet cells for my transplant... What if I change the stents for nothing bc surgery gets scheduled within 4-6wks after stent exchange... If I wait.. I don't know...lots of decisions to be made for one little organ..hmmp.
These are the thoughts going through my mind daily, hourly sometimes!

 I've started my mandatory weekly Pain Management group therapy sessions & they seem to be going well. I won't get into too much detail about them but my favorite part has been my ability to improve on my meditation or what they call in therapy as "mindfullness/relaxation exercises" I've gotten pretty good at them & at the end of my 6 weeks, I'll get a disk of my psychologist going through them like she does in class & I'll be able to put them on my iPod, which sounds dorky but Will be much helpful post-op (if it ever happens) & I'm in a lot of pain.. I'll be able to escape to that relaxation place & try to forget about the pain I am in & focus on other things within my body, my breathing, my thoughts, etc..
This therapy has also taught a lot about acceptance. Accepting how we are in the present & how we can't change what is going on with our chronic illnesses & to try to focus on the now, not the past(which I don't do.. Doesn't do me any good) but to focus on the here & now. It's very refreshing. Ive completed 4 out of my 6..so 2 more to go.. Hopefully that's all that's standing in my way.

On a lighter side of things, this past month my entire family went to Aruba for a nice family vacation & get away. It was OH so needed & I'd like to go back NOW please! U think this was the perfect timing for the entire family to get away.. We are all so stressed about what's going on right now, even those who don't show it(I know it's there) it was great timing for a getaway! Let me just say Aruba is now One of my favorite places to be. The BEST weather around, it never rains, a breeze every day, beautiful clear water.. I couldn't ask for more! I had my amazing family by my side, my wonderful cousins who are more like my best friends & we had a blast. Can't wait & ready for our next trip! <3

I'd like to ask for some prayers of peace & relaxation throughout these next few weeks.. Pray for my doctors & their guidance to give me the best plan & a solid surgery date(finally), pray for peace within my mind(& my family bc I know this is wearing & tearing on them as well!) as well as relaxation.. I need to relax through all of these tough decisions & waiting around. I know God is watching over me & getting me through all the tough stuff but extra prayers are always welcomed!
I always appreciate the love & support & can't thank you enough!
Much love always.

<3 T

Word for thought..

 In the past 5 years, I've definitely become more resilient & stronger.  I've overcame things I NEVER knew I could overcome.  I'm so thankful for God, my faith & the strength I've been given to get me through all my struggles & challenges day in & day out with this disease, and I am ready to take on this next chapter in my life in recovery to finally beat this horrible disease.  I am thankful I am being given the opportunity to fight this disease off & trade my disease for another (although the trade off does sound a little grim, I'll trade my CP for T1D anyday if it's going to give me a true life I haven't had in years) I don't know what it's like to live like a normal 20something year old because all I've done is be sick, live in the hospital, be connected to IV's, take medicine, have IVs connected to me 24/7 at home, & so forth & so on.  Taking this trade off & getting a second chance at life is such a blessing & gift from God, I don't know how to give my thanks, except to help others & help them through their experience through blogging, meeting others like myself & sharing my experience, & giving back to the world with my new, healthy body I am getting ready to receive!!  I can't wait to scream from the roof tops how happy and healthy I am, once that day comes, I'll be smiling from ear to ear & praying to God, THANKING GOD, that I am alive, healthy & living my newly given life.  Thank you to EVERYONE who prays for me daily, sends out those amazing text messages & supporting emails, FB posts, phone calls, etc to myself & my family.  They are so greatly appreciated and I feel your strength & it lifts me up daily.  Thank you Thank you!!  The prayers are still greatly appreciated & all of your continued support is welcomed. 

 I will update when there is something to update with (more than likely after my visit to Charleston in 2 weeks).  I am coping right now.  It's definitely a struggle right now, but a struggle I am taking on with stride.  I CAN and I WILL get through this next month (or a few months, whatever I am handed) til my surgery.  I know I can do it because I am stronger than I feel sometimes, but God is right there with me every step of the way, carrying me through the difficult parts I may not feel like I can get through on my own.  These struggles with my pain, fatigue & exhaustion, & then insomnia, anxiety, & everything else I am just handing over to my faith & praying it's taken care of.  Everything will work itself out & all will be A-OK! :)

See you in a few weeks (::fingers crossed:: with some great news) 

<3 T

  

Hello June!!

Hello June! Oh how I am ready for this month!! It's pretty jam packed with lots of fun, doctors appointments, family and friends & me time as well. 

I'll be heading back down to Charleston the second week of June for my 2nd appt with behavioral medicine (gotta make sure I'm not cray cray you know (; ) and meet with my doctor again for any last minute questions & concerns, meet with anesthesia (which is always my favorite part since I work with anesthesia it's the easiest part to me), & sign consent forms (aka signing my life away). I'm very ready for this appointment, as my pain is increasing becoming harder to manage everyday.. It's a struggle but I'm not giving up my fight.. EVER! I'll be getting my official surgery date then as well, even though I have my TBD date.. My official date will make it SO real... I'm very ready for this. Anxious. Nervous. Excited. Scared. Ready. Not ready. Along with just about every other adjective you can think of in the book, that's me right now. I'm very ready though.. It's almost time & I honestly never thought this day would get here but it has. One reason I never thought it wouldn't be here is because I truly believed I'd be better before this day, but God has much larger plans for me & I can't wait to see what those plans are.. What's in store for me; the ride is going to be one hell of a ride but it'll be sweet & amazing. God is great!! 

June is also an amazing month because it's my birthday month.. WAHOO! I'll be spending part of my birthday month with my family on a vacation to ARUBA!! This trip is OH SO NEEDED & I absolutely cannot wait! I love family vacations. Spending time with my family is such a blessing, making those memories with my loved ones & my favorite little cousins who I adore & are more like my siblings than cousins.. The fun we have when we're all together is epic.

June is going to be amazing! Family vacations, family time, friend time already reserved to go paint(my favorite past time), surgery dates & farewell parties for my pancreas! I'll continue to stay as active as I have been, or my body will let me continue to be until my surgery date.  As my moto has been; I am building the strongest, healthiest body possible to get me through the toughest surgery of my life, so I can ROCK this recovery with flying colors!! I want to go into this surgery the healthiest I can to make it as easy as possible on my body to recovery, as well as to make it easier on me to get back into shape once I get the OK from my physicians to start being active again.  I don't plan on sitting on my butt too long licking my wounds & moping around.  I want to take this recovery by it's tail & show it who's boss from the beginning to the end!! All I need to do now is stay in tip top shape until my surgery date, which is now all up to God & prayers!

Please keep those thankful prayers coming & special prayers for my health in this next month to get me through until my surgery is scheduled!! I don't need any unnecessary surgeries prior to having my TP/AIT! 

I'm so thankful to EVERYONE who have been sending me prayers daily & continue to pray for me. I wouldn't be where I am today without your support and love & I just want you to know that if I don't tell you personally, they are greatly appreciated & felt!
~xo T

Keeping On, Keeping On

If you know me well enough you know I am a fitness guru.  I love anything about fitness, whether it be going to the gym, home workouts, stepping out of my comfort zone & taking a new workout class, or just plain & simple walking.  Simply being active makes me smile & always make me happy! With my illness, it has interfered quite a bit with my exercise habits that I use to have, just because my energy levels have gone down the drain; although that DOES NOT mean I have stopped being active at all.  I still attempt & try my absolute very best to go, for a  minimum, 30 minute-hour walk a day, as well as some sort of strength training to keep some sort of muscle on my body.  Does this mean I succeed in this goal daily, unfortunately no, but I try my absolutely damnest to get there!  I have been working extra hard on my strength training & yoga, that I have always loved, these past few weeks because I want to be in the best shape that I can be before I go into this surgery to make it just a tad more easier for my recovery process.  The stronger & healthier I can make myself before surgery, the better it will make me post-op for recovery, post-op infection, & just plain 'ol getting back to my old NEW self quicker!! (Sounds Great to me!!) :)

I always love to give reviews on things that I try workout wise, especially home workouts & such, seeing I have become a home workout guru!  I have been a Tone It Up girl for 3, going on 4 years now & I absolutely love their nutrition plan as well as all of their workouts.  They will always be my go-to for workouts & starting point!  Karina & Katrina are amazing women & know their stuff when it comes to a nutrition plan & kicking your booty in a workout.  Although I can't follow the nutrition plan truly these days, I can attest that it does work, the results are REAL & true & if you've ever contemplated getting a nutrition plan from an online trainer or anything like that, these are the girls to go with.  You're a member for life, you get constant updates & tips for these beautiful ladies & their FREE YouTube videos, as well as their BeachBabe DVDs are fabulous! 

Bikini Yoga

Routines from Tone It Up

I also drink Shakeology pretty much daily, from Beachbody.  That has helped me immensely through this entire process!  I'm not too sure if it's truly helped me health wise, just because I am so severely sick, although I can tell you there are SO many benefits to Shakeology that do help you in the health department.  It's been proven to decrease blood pressure, cholesterol, help with diabetes, aid in digestion, among other health conditions; so this truly is a wonderful product.  It has helped me with my digestion, curb my cravings & decrease my intense sugar cravings, which I have a ton, which my horrible hormone imbalance with the pancreatitis sugar cravings are a side effect & shakeo helps a lot with that!! I'm not here trying to sell you this product (although I do sell it, so if you're interested, please contact me at my email)  I'm just giving my review like I've wanted to do for a while now. :)  I, myself, love the vanilla flavor.  There are 4 flavors in regular, vanilla, chocolate, greenberry, & strawberry, & chocolate vegan & tropical strawberry vegan.  There are hundreds of recipes to tailor the shakeology to your likings.  I honestly love it with plain unsweetened almond milk & ice, simple, but it tastes almost like ice cream. I could name probably 20 recipes off the top of my head to do that are SO easy! Like I said before, this is just another supplement that I drink for me, to benefit me & I love it.
I pretty much have every Beachbody workout out there & I'll do individual reviews for all of them later on throughout the month, but I am here to say they are all very challenging & will for sure give you A: drenched in sweat & a great workout B: results C: your moneys worth(if that's your concern)

Regular Shakeology Flavors

I'll continue to be active until my body tells me I can't.  Like I mentioned above, whether I'm simply walking around the block, mall walking, doing a relaxing yoga routine or strength training, I'll be doing SOMETHING, and I'll be pushing myself even more until my surgery comes around so I can be 150% ready for it & recovery even quicker! With my strength, Gods strength, prayers & faith I can get through this with flying colors!! Keep a look out, I'll continue to do reviews on other workout programs that I've done or will be doing to help anyone out on if their looking into them or would like to know more about them. :)  Stay Positive!! <3