13wk post-op visit, Holidays & a Brand New Year!!

WOW! Where do I even begin! I've been wanting to sit down & write this post for a very long time now, but as you know, life can get in the way sometimes.. In good & bad ways... SO many things have been going on lately & I have plenty to update you on so bear with me with this long post I'm about to write for you.  :)

First off, let me begin with Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! LOL That was a mouth full all in itself! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season... I enjoyed my holidays... I didn't quite enjoy the eating/food side of my holidays, due to the fact that I'm still dealing with loss of appetite, pain when I eat food & lots of nausea! It's a battle all in itself just dealing with the food side of my recovery & it's very exhausting but I'm pushing through daily! I still enjoyed just being with my family & spending time with them.. That's all that mattered to me honestly! Those are some of my favorite times of the year; I get to spend time with my cousins who are more like my siblings & we just enjoy each others company & have fun at Yiayias, until Easter time & summer! It gets my mind off of how tedious of a process this recovery has become & how it truly is going to be up to a year or more for my body to get back to where it should be & I just have to go with the flow; a difficult task at times I'm not gonna lie.

My pain has subsided a decent amount, which I'm thankful for. I'm still very uncomfortable & dealing with "phantom pains" & "phantom attacks" quite frequently at this point. My surgeon has told me they'll come less & less with time & the more my body settles into my new body & gets use to things, although just as I've stressed about a million times now, it's a timely process, a waiting game, & I just have to go with the flow... My surgeon & transplant team are very happy & thrilled with my outcome so far! This gives me hope & the encouragement to keep pushing forward, especially on my toughest days! ::knock on wood:: My glucose levels are still in very good ranges & I very rarely have to do corrections for out of whack sugars right now! I thank God daily for this gift, this easy transition & for giving me some ease with this part of my recovery!! I couldn't be more thrilled! I pray daily it stays this way, or continues to just thrive & get even better as time goes on!!! Only God has those answers...

So now the game plan is to continue to keep my nausea at bay.. So I'm sticking to my strict around the clock scheduled dosing of nausea meds, keep my phantom pains under control & still work on my appetite as well as I can... Which is SO easier said than done! In the next month I'll be starting a new program with MUSC, for "better quality of life" (that's how they word the program) but it will assist me in hopefully, weening me down all of my extremely high dose pain medications & at minimum get me to a manageable lower dose for better quality of life, if not hoping completely off of them! It's an extremely long process, so who knows when it'll all be said & done, it all has to deal with how my body reacts, how my pain reacts, how I do daily & to do it safely! '‹the joys of living with a chronic illness›'

I've also been dealing with a systemic issue, if you will... My body is going through stress mode due to how extremely stressful the surgery truly is on your body... My body broke out in horrible welts/acne-like bumps but much worse (almost in the form of shingles but they aren't shingles) all over my entire back, down my booty, part of my leg, my face.. It has been the worst thing ever! Of course with the ones on my back, I couldn't get comfortable with laying down, & I already wasn't comfortable sleeping to begin with so that made it worse, I had to cover every tiny welt with a special medication & band aids, so you can imagine how comfortable that could feel(& this is on my face as well), they itch too!! Add to everything, I can't take steroids to help speed the recovery process up.. So it's been a nightmare!! This has been going on now for approx. 2 months..
I saw my dermatologist last week & he was very happy with the healing process & did say they were about 60-70% better so that was very good to hear & encouraging! Thank the wonderful Lord for helping me with that... Now I just need a little more help with these last extra spots that are hanging around & are being truly stubborn!

So it may seem like nothing's really changed but a lot has changed... It's just been at a very slow pace... And again, please forgive me for my absence the past few months in not posting... I just got a little lazy & then dealing with these horrible welts, the holidays & so forth, things got away from me.

Thank you for keeping up with me still & continuing to keep me in your prayers & thoughts! I truly appreciate them, feel them & still need them, so keep them coming whenever your kind souls think of me. I can't thank you enough for them, the love & support!! My support team behind me truly is amazing & has rallied through the good, bad & ugly & my thank you's aren't enough! I love you guys so very much!!
When you're thinking about me & sending those prayers out for me, send out some extra prayers for some dear friends of mine as well, who are going through their own struggles as well: Lindsey, Tiffany, Riley, my moms friend from college, Julie, Robin, Leon, Mallory, & Amber ...just to name a few(please forgive me if I left your name out by accident.. You know I'm praying for you ALL!!)

                    Until next time... ‹3 T

3 musketeers having fun at Christmas!❅
Wouldn't have it any other way!! 

My best friend Alexis'engagement party
My very 1st outing since the big surgery!!

When life throws you lemons..

Words very heavy in my heart.

 Just living with a chronic illness has it's own struggles day in & day out.  Keeping my strong faith helps me keep my positive attitude throughout this entire process, set backs, difficulties & struggles, good & bad days: all of the above.  It's the knowing that there is a higher power above ultimately making that end decision & he is in ultimate control of everything; God is Good & he will make everything better.(This I DO believe)  Through all the financial struggles, insurance issues & difficulties & uncertainties going on, I have true faith in God that through these deep waters, he is my strength, my refuge, & he will show that miracle when it is time to shine!  Lesson from this blog isn't just for those struggling from a chronic illness or disease; it's for everyone! Everyone has daily struggles, whether it's a career struggle, reaching a goal, fighting your inner self, whatever it may be:  the key is to KEEP YOUR FAITH.  You can't reach those goals & dreams without faith in yourself & a higher being.  Losing faith is why you're always starting over & why things fail constantly.  Stay in tune with yourself & keep your faith; you CAN do this, what it is!

Always remember to keep that faith!! ✞

When I am afraid I will put all trust in you. Psalm 56:3 

Trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

With Love <3

Love & Gratitude

When I first became ill, I kept it very quiet in the beginning.  The main people that knew were my main family members & just a couple of my close friends.  To be honest, I didn't really take it that seriously in the beginning.  Even with the research I did, I thought, "oh after a surgery or two, I'll be as good a new.. even though I feel like crap now; all of this will work out & I'll be fine, no big deal" HA!  Little did I know, I was in for the ride of my life; surgery after surgery, tests & labs one after another, so many hospital stays I can't even count or keep track of anymore.. Who would have thought when all of this first began, I would have ended up here, and I'd be in for a surgery of a lifetime:  pancreas removal ..  Surgically induced type 1 diabetic.. Life changer!!  I sure as heck never thought that in the very beginning, that's for sure.  I have learned SO much through all of this that life is not a joke nor should we ever take anything for-granted. You never know when it may change in a split second before you; due to a car accident, birth defects (like in my case) & then complications of a surgical procedure, life events or personal family matters -- anything out there can happen for life altering events.  We take our lives for-granted so often; take a step back & appreciate what we truly have in our lives:  our families & friends, LIFE, air in our lungs, the chance to make relationships with people, for some people health, fitness & nutrition, education & careers, etc.  Stop & smell the roses every once in a while & appreciate the little things again.. Remember to tell the people in your life you love them & they matter to you.  

Ever since my illness has become more chronic & especially recently, the more people have learned about what is to come in my upcoming future with surgery & recovery; I have had an outpouring of love & affection from an incredible amount of friends & family.  A lot of them are from my spiritual family at church, which is so humbling at the outpouring love & support I've received from them.  Spiritual family members are there for you in time of need & the amount of love & support I have received in just the last few weeks (and even just today) was overwhelming wonderful.  Words can't express how thankful, blessed, loved & appreciative I am for all of the support, love & prayers I am receiving.  Knowing I have all of that support behind me & having that extra backbone truly helps; lifts that little bit of anxiety off my shoulders in time of despair & knowing you have all of those people in your corner praying for you is comforting in those times of need.  I feel like I can't show enough gratitude towards everyone but I truly am so incredibly gracious!!  Thank you for the continued prayers in the upcoming weeks & months through this entire process.  I'll continue to thank every one of you as I see you individually, as well as showing my appreciation throughout the entire community whenever possible.

I've met some incredible people along this journey so far that will forever be my friends through this thing called life.  We all share a special bond; our pasts (soon to be mine as well) include CP, and we've all gone through or are getting ready to go through a difficult path towards the road to recovery: TP/AIT.  The best part is we share this special bond of having overcame this amazingly debilitating disease & fought like hell to get to where we are today.. I know I sure as hell will be doing that.. recovery isn't easy I'm being reminded day in & day out from my fellow friends:  but there IS a silver lining at the end of the tunnel with the light waiting for you. NO PANCREAS PAIN.  No more daily heavy dose pain meds to make the pancreas pain go away (after some time passes from surgery of course).  You get to EAT again.  You get your LIFE back! I am in.  Thank you to every one of my fellow TP/AIT troupers; you guys will forever be my friends & support through all of this.. I couldn't have asked God to bring a better group of people into my life for support & guidance through this entire process; that alone was it's own miracle.  I look forward to the day we can officially celebrate the right way! 

Much Love & Gratitude
xo-T