Love & Gratitude

When I first became ill, I kept it very quiet in the beginning.  The main people that knew were my main family members & just a couple of my close friends.  To be honest, I didn't really take it that seriously in the beginning.  Even with the research I did, I thought, "oh after a surgery or two, I'll be as good a new.. even though I feel like crap now; all of this will work out & I'll be fine, no big deal" HA!  Little did I know, I was in for the ride of my life; surgery after surgery, tests & labs one after another, so many hospital stays I can't even count or keep track of anymore.. Who would have thought when all of this first began, I would have ended up here, and I'd be in for a surgery of a lifetime:  pancreas removal ..  Surgically induced type 1 diabetic.. Life changer!!  I sure as heck never thought that in the very beginning, that's for sure.  I have learned SO much through all of this that life is not a joke nor should we ever take anything for-granted. You never know when it may change in a split second before you; due to a car accident, birth defects (like in my case) & then complications of a surgical procedure, life events or personal family matters -- anything out there can happen for life altering events.  We take our lives for-granted so often; take a step back & appreciate what we truly have in our lives:  our families & friends, LIFE, air in our lungs, the chance to make relationships with people, for some people health, fitness & nutrition, education & careers, etc.  Stop & smell the roses every once in a while & appreciate the little things again.. Remember to tell the people in your life you love them & they matter to you.  

Ever since my illness has become more chronic & especially recently, the more people have learned about what is to come in my upcoming future with surgery & recovery; I have had an outpouring of love & affection from an incredible amount of friends & family.  A lot of them are from my spiritual family at church, which is so humbling at the outpouring love & support I've received from them.  Spiritual family members are there for you in time of need & the amount of love & support I have received in just the last few weeks (and even just today) was overwhelming wonderful.  Words can't express how thankful, blessed, loved & appreciative I am for all of the support, love & prayers I am receiving.  Knowing I have all of that support behind me & having that extra backbone truly helps; lifts that little bit of anxiety off my shoulders in time of despair & knowing you have all of those people in your corner praying for you is comforting in those times of need.  I feel like I can't show enough gratitude towards everyone but I truly am so incredibly gracious!!  Thank you for the continued prayers in the upcoming weeks & months through this entire process.  I'll continue to thank every one of you as I see you individually, as well as showing my appreciation throughout the entire community whenever possible.

I've met some incredible people along this journey so far that will forever be my friends through this thing called life.  We all share a special bond; our pasts (soon to be mine as well) include CP, and we've all gone through or are getting ready to go through a difficult path towards the road to recovery: TP/AIT.  The best part is we share this special bond of having overcame this amazingly debilitating disease & fought like hell to get to where we are today.. I know I sure as hell will be doing that.. recovery isn't easy I'm being reminded day in & day out from my fellow friends:  but there IS a silver lining at the end of the tunnel with the light waiting for you. NO PANCREAS PAIN.  No more daily heavy dose pain meds to make the pancreas pain go away (after some time passes from surgery of course).  You get to EAT again.  You get your LIFE back! I am in.  Thank you to every one of my fellow TP/AIT troupers; you guys will forever be my friends & support through all of this.. I couldn't have asked God to bring a better group of people into my life for support & guidance through this entire process; that alone was it's own miracle.  I look forward to the day we can officially celebrate the right way! 

Much Love & Gratitude
xo-T

.Mini pictionary blog night.

Tonight will be a short blog post.. Instead I'm using some imaging to interrupt my thoughts as my main blog.. A lot of times I have SO many thoughts running through my jumbled up brain of mine that I have a hard time forming complete thoughts to write a single topic for you guys.. sooo instead I'm sticking to a little pictionary, if you will for my blog.   Let's get creative here...

Women know this statement is true to it's word.. Those stilettos are OH SO beautiful on the outside, but wreak havoc on the inside...pretty similar to what I'm going through with my CP & pancreatic disorder.  I'm pretty known for putting up a front of having this smile on my face, going about my every day life as much as possible, pushing my illness to the back-burner & trying not to wear my illness on my sleeve. That isn't always the case, but just like the stiletto no matter the pain, you'll see me trying to push my beauty out first & foremost & make the best out of it!!

My faith has kept me going through all of this & has just grown stronger, the harder this journey has gotten. My relationship with God will continue to grown stronger, just as it should & with all the prayers & hopeful success in surgery, my journey will eventually become a little less deep.

Taking myself out of this equation, I think about this on a daily basis.. Bullying is no joke; people put up fronts to cover up what is going on deep inside of them, whether it's illness, pain, personal issues, heartbreak etc.  Don't judge a book by it's cover:  people may put up a barriers for protection or to avoid pity.  Try to view things from their side of things prior to judgement.

No caption truly needed for this picture!!  Unfortunately, I have a handful of people in all 3 of these groups; which I wish I could say I didn't.  It makes my heart ache & sad to say this, and I don't understand the reasoning for this; although I know God has a true reasoning for this & I trust in him for throwing this at me & giving me these situations.  It only makes me stronger & is a good learning experience.  I have learned good lessons from it.

Throughout this ENTIRE journey, I've never lost hope that every surgery I've had would work, or every scan/labs would turn out better than the next, etc.. I know God is there bringing me that hope that I've been holding out for & when it happens(because I can feel that lining is right around the corner) it is going to be epic & life changing!!
God is with me!!

About Me!

I am a 28 year old who loves life! I love being around my family & friends, making new relationships with people, connections with people of all ages, hearing their stories of life, anything like that interests me! 

I currently am battling a horrific chronic illness of Chronic Pancreatitis (CP), as well as Chronic Anemia, Sphincter of Oddi dysfuntion & (in this case more minor) chronic migraines.  I am in the process of getting ready to undergo a Total Pancreatectomy with Auto Islet Cell Transplantation (can you say mouthful).  This surgery means total removal of my pancreas(TP), & the auto islet cell transplant(AIT) means harvesting the islet cells (insulin producing cells) & transplanting them into my liver.(come again?) I want to blog my entire journey from beginning to end of surgery & life after surgery(which I'm a little late in the game since I've been battling this disease for a good 4years now but now is better than never)
I'm a compassionate, caring, sensitive, hard working, determined, very knowledgeable young woman & look forward to going through this new journey & expressing it all with you. :)

I also hope that my experiences & journey will help anyone else who is battling any of the illnesses I am going through as well.  If it helps anyone at all, just a little bit, I will have a smile on my face.
When I'm not stuck in the hospital or sick at home hooked to an IV pump, I love sweating & the way exercise makes me feel.  I'm a big home workout girl, & love anything that has to do with fitness.  The smell of new shoes always brings a smile to my face (it must be in my blood!) & going through racks of clothes is always good therapy to me..although my purse strings don't like it too me.  The medical field is my passion as well as my career, although spending so much time around it health wise I'm experiencing it from the other side a bit more than my taste of liking... STAY TUNED for my epic returned!!!  :)