Unleash the Creativity

 Calling all my DIY addicts...
I am not a very experienced DIY girl at all..let me make this clear before starting this post!! BUT I do LOVE DIY projects.. Hence this post! ;-) DIY projects mean the most to me because they have meaning behind them..there was thought & love into the creation; I cherish those creations a bit more.
My favorite of them all.. paintings!  I am not an artist but abstracts, I love.. and I love creating something so weird for it to turn into something so beautiful.  I could sit on pinterest for HOURS just searching, pinning, & admiring the beauties of the arts & things I'd love to re-create one day.. With the added time I have on my hands these days...sitting & waiting, it has brought out my inner artsy-self & I'm in my "I wanna paint & create more" esp just to redecorate more at a lower cost. And who doesn't love to paint every once in a while??!! :-)

Making of a Masterpiece::My own to come!::

On the health front, because I know some of you are pretty interested & are inquiring.. I am in a waiting period at the moment.. which BTW is VERY difficult.. to sit around & just wait..wait..wait.. Everyone else who has been in my very position I honestly don't know how you got through this period without killing someone or going insane! It's driving me crazy at times, which is why I am trying my best to stay as busy, active & positive as possible.  My body only lets me be as active as I can, which isn't very much but I am testing those levels every day.  I am in a considerable amount of pain, but I am handling it to the best as I can.  God is with my daily and he is getting me through these tough moments.  Thanking God everyday for giving me my strength to get through the next day & giving thanks for just being Alive, bringing me THIS Far & bringing me the hope that there IS that light at the end of the tunnel that I WILL get to for my everlasting peace of healing & hopeful "cure" to a better life!! Thank you God & everyone around me for their daily support, love & just being you!! <3

Control..

We may not always understand the struggle at the moment but it's truth will reveal itself when ready! God is in control! #amen  Releasing that control to God is a very frightening thing.  Now being in control of your life is a very frightening thing; or at least feeling like you're not in control of your life.. the truth of the matter is, you are completely in control of it.  God knows your path, every single bit of it & he will guide you to the exact place you need to be!  It's already been planned out for you.  No need to fret on the little things (although TRUST ME, it is very hard not too at times) everything will be A-OK! God is with you through this entire journey in this crazy thing we call life & he will bring us to the right place were suppose to be, at the right time!! Keep that faith!! <3

When life throws you lemons..

Words very heavy in my heart.

 Just living with a chronic illness has it's own struggles day in & day out.  Keeping my strong faith helps me keep my positive attitude throughout this entire process, set backs, difficulties & struggles, good & bad days: all of the above.  It's the knowing that there is a higher power above ultimately making that end decision & he is in ultimate control of everything; God is Good & he will make everything better.(This I DO believe)  Through all the financial struggles, insurance issues & difficulties & uncertainties going on, I have true faith in God that through these deep waters, he is my strength, my refuge, & he will show that miracle when it is time to shine!  Lesson from this blog isn't just for those struggling from a chronic illness or disease; it's for everyone! Everyone has daily struggles, whether it's a career struggle, reaching a goal, fighting your inner self, whatever it may be:  the key is to KEEP YOUR FAITH.  You can't reach those goals & dreams without faith in yourself & a higher being.  Losing faith is why you're always starting over & why things fail constantly.  Stay in tune with yourself & keep your faith; you CAN do this, what it is!

Always remember to keep that faith!! ✞

When I am afraid I will put all trust in you. Psalm 56:3 

Trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

With Love <3

Love & Gratitude

When I first became ill, I kept it very quiet in the beginning.  The main people that knew were my main family members & just a couple of my close friends.  To be honest, I didn't really take it that seriously in the beginning.  Even with the research I did, I thought, "oh after a surgery or two, I'll be as good a new.. even though I feel like crap now; all of this will work out & I'll be fine, no big deal" HA!  Little did I know, I was in for the ride of my life; surgery after surgery, tests & labs one after another, so many hospital stays I can't even count or keep track of anymore.. Who would have thought when all of this first began, I would have ended up here, and I'd be in for a surgery of a lifetime:  pancreas removal ..  Surgically induced type 1 diabetic.. Life changer!!  I sure as heck never thought that in the very beginning, that's for sure.  I have learned SO much through all of this that life is not a joke nor should we ever take anything for-granted. You never know when it may change in a split second before you; due to a car accident, birth defects (like in my case) & then complications of a surgical procedure, life events or personal family matters -- anything out there can happen for life altering events.  We take our lives for-granted so often; take a step back & appreciate what we truly have in our lives:  our families & friends, LIFE, air in our lungs, the chance to make relationships with people, for some people health, fitness & nutrition, education & careers, etc.  Stop & smell the roses every once in a while & appreciate the little things again.. Remember to tell the people in your life you love them & they matter to you.  

Ever since my illness has become more chronic & especially recently, the more people have learned about what is to come in my upcoming future with surgery & recovery; I have had an outpouring of love & affection from an incredible amount of friends & family.  A lot of them are from my spiritual family at church, which is so humbling at the outpouring love & support I've received from them.  Spiritual family members are there for you in time of need & the amount of love & support I have received in just the last few weeks (and even just today) was overwhelming wonderful.  Words can't express how thankful, blessed, loved & appreciative I am for all of the support, love & prayers I am receiving.  Knowing I have all of that support behind me & having that extra backbone truly helps; lifts that little bit of anxiety off my shoulders in time of despair & knowing you have all of those people in your corner praying for you is comforting in those times of need.  I feel like I can't show enough gratitude towards everyone but I truly am so incredibly gracious!!  Thank you for the continued prayers in the upcoming weeks & months through this entire process.  I'll continue to thank every one of you as I see you individually, as well as showing my appreciation throughout the entire community whenever possible.

I've met some incredible people along this journey so far that will forever be my friends through this thing called life.  We all share a special bond; our pasts (soon to be mine as well) include CP, and we've all gone through or are getting ready to go through a difficult path towards the road to recovery: TP/AIT.  The best part is we share this special bond of having overcame this amazingly debilitating disease & fought like hell to get to where we are today.. I know I sure as hell will be doing that.. recovery isn't easy I'm being reminded day in & day out from my fellow friends:  but there IS a silver lining at the end of the tunnel with the light waiting for you. NO PANCREAS PAIN.  No more daily heavy dose pain meds to make the pancreas pain go away (after some time passes from surgery of course).  You get to EAT again.  You get your LIFE back! I am in.  Thank you to every one of my fellow TP/AIT troupers; you guys will forever be my friends & support through all of this.. I couldn't have asked God to bring a better group of people into my life for support & guidance through this entire process; that alone was it's own miracle.  I look forward to the day we can officially celebrate the right way! 

Much Love & Gratitude
xo-T

Similarities & Differences

This time of year those of us with Greek heritage get asked numerous times "When do you celebrate Easter" "Why does the Orthodox church celebrate Easter at a difference time sometimes" "Are you Christian" because we are Greek Orthodox.  We are Christian, Orthodox Christian... We typically celebrate Easter on the same day every 4 years, the rest going 4 weeks behind, 3, 2 then 1 week behind(typically) Without going into too much detail, we must wait for Jewish passover to come before we can celebrate Easter, & we also go by the Julian calendar opposed to the Gregorian calendar.  Here is a nice article to helps explain the differences between the two churches & why they're divided now:  http://www.goarch.org/ourfaith/faithandlife/pasch.pdf

When I was younger, it was always a little difficult, friends would treat me different because I was different than they were & I didn't celebrate Easter the same day they did, even though I DID celebrate it, the exact same way as they did, just on a different date at times. We would have our church services in Greek most times, but the concept behind the services were & are the exact same as theirs were/are. The older I got, the more I appreciated my differences & how blessed I am that I get to celebrate both days.. Easter is my FAVORITE holiday ... its so beautiful, special, sacred, time for forgiveness, renewal & rebirth.  Granted to technically don't truly celebrate this day as the 'true' Easter/resurrection day, because today was my Palm Sunday, it's still a blessing to me to enjoy all of my friends' beautiful posts on social media about this amazing glorious holiday & how special this day is for them & I'll get to do the same for me, as well as the rest of my Greek family & friends this coming Sunday.  In the end, as long as the message is passed & the true meaning of this day has gotten across, that is all that truly matters; no matter what day it is celebrated, Christ is amazing, He is Risen & he is GLORIOUS! <3 Happy Easter to everyone who celebrated today!!

Happy Easter

These sweet beauts that hold such a special place in my heart. <3

.Mini pictionary blog night.

Tonight will be a short blog post.. Instead I'm using some imaging to interrupt my thoughts as my main blog.. A lot of times I have SO many thoughts running through my jumbled up brain of mine that I have a hard time forming complete thoughts to write a single topic for you guys.. sooo instead I'm sticking to a little pictionary, if you will for my blog.   Let's get creative here...

Women know this statement is true to it's word.. Those stilettos are OH SO beautiful on the outside, but wreak havoc on the inside...pretty similar to what I'm going through with my CP & pancreatic disorder.  I'm pretty known for putting up a front of having this smile on my face, going about my every day life as much as possible, pushing my illness to the back-burner & trying not to wear my illness on my sleeve. That isn't always the case, but just like the stiletto no matter the pain, you'll see me trying to push my beauty out first & foremost & make the best out of it!!

My faith has kept me going through all of this & has just grown stronger, the harder this journey has gotten. My relationship with God will continue to grown stronger, just as it should & with all the prayers & hopeful success in surgery, my journey will eventually become a little less deep.

Taking myself out of this equation, I think about this on a daily basis.. Bullying is no joke; people put up fronts to cover up what is going on deep inside of them, whether it's illness, pain, personal issues, heartbreak etc.  Don't judge a book by it's cover:  people may put up a barriers for protection or to avoid pity.  Try to view things from their side of things prior to judgement.

No caption truly needed for this picture!!  Unfortunately, I have a handful of people in all 3 of these groups; which I wish I could say I didn't.  It makes my heart ache & sad to say this, and I don't understand the reasoning for this; although I know God has a true reasoning for this & I trust in him for throwing this at me & giving me these situations.  It only makes me stronger & is a good learning experience.  I have learned good lessons from it.

Throughout this ENTIRE journey, I've never lost hope that every surgery I've had would work, or every scan/labs would turn out better than the next, etc.. I know God is there bringing me that hope that I've been holding out for & when it happens(because I can feel that lining is right around the corner) it is going to be epic & life changing!!
God is with me!!

Make It Count!!

Make today count!! Make your fitness count, make your nutrition count, make your feelings/emotions count: WHATEVER IT is, make it count; Make it WORTH doing today!
My fit tip for today was to go outside & push yourself just a little further than you typically would on a normal day with your fitness.  Do 20 extra push ups, 50 extra lunges, run .5-1 extra mile.. You can do it! Your body CAN handle it.. wanna know how I know this.. Because I've done it & did it this morning in my house.. I pushed my fitness level just a little bit more than I thought I could... Was it difficult Heck Yeah! but I did it. You can increase your success without pushing yourself! If you can't go outside, DO IT inside!

Nutrition
Always a touchy subject these days... Diets..DUN DUN DUUN!! You see them everywhere.. "Paleo, carb cycling, Atkins, South Beach Diet, Mediterranean, IF," & the list goes ON & ON & ON!!
You want to know what ALL of these diets have in common with one another... « drum roll please » They ALL involve eating whole clean, unprocessed foods!! THE key here is to eliminate all processed foods from your diets, ingredients you don't recognize & stop eating them; everything else will fall into place!!
It's taking things back to basics, it's just are you ready to fully commit to that challenge!! It isn't meant to be easy, that's why it's called a struggle/challenge; although things worth fighting for are worth the fight in the end!! ALWAYS :)

April Fool's Not

Today was a day like any other day...nothing too significant happened.. which is a good thing in my book.  Some may think "BORING" or others may have other things running through their minds but in my mind & insight these days a non-significant day, is a pretty decent day! :)  I was in about the same amount of pain I am in on any other regular day, no worse or less than other days lately unfortunately, but I'll take that! At nights (which is when I am writing this post) is when my pain seems to increase a bit and I get more uncomfortable.  That tends to happen with a lot of sicknesses; flu-like symptoms, the cold, surgery pain etc, they tend to increase at night..something about the night time pressures or who knows what! lol (This is my inner rational self trying to figure everything out which we all know is impossible) I was a bit more fatigued than usual, but I did fit in my walk, that I've been striving to do daily, which made me feel accomplished.  I'll take a semi-good or a ehh day over a day stuck in bed or in the hospital anyday!  Fair warning, this is a very long post, explaining in extent what all I've gone through, my story & what's to come in the future so you've been forewarned :)

So like I've mentioned before I am all about bringing awareness to this disease & illness I have.. in doing that, I am bringing to light my story in turn..which will be therapeutic but painful as well.  Reliving some of what has already happened & been put in the past isn't always easy, but living through what I'm going through on a daily basis isn't easy AT ALL, so just writing about it is helpful in general! I am in for a fight of my life with the options I've been given and I am up for the challenge.  To get my life back, get my dignity back, bring that fire back into my life & get the old me, but a new me back I am ALL IN! Of course there are risks with everything you take in life, as well as this surgery, but with the latter option, this is the best option & best chance in getting healthy again & my body is craving that!!  Receiving the best feedback from my family, which have been the best backbone for me these past few years while going through this, have given me their blessing & have actually pushed me that extra step further in making the final decision to proceed further with the surgery process(which I couldn't thank them enough honestly!! They've been the best through my best, worst & sickest)  I can't say thank you enough in words how thankful I am for them & always will be for them!!

My Story: How it all began.

The reason I use the term "invisible illness" all the time is because there is a big part of me you can't see and vision, or maybe even comprehend most or any of the time.  That part of me is in my abdomen, sits beside my liver, behind my stomach under my ribs, very close to the spleen & is my pancreas (along with my bile duct).  It's such a vital organ & can sit dormant & not cause anyone any issues their entire life if it's working properly, their islet cells making insulin correctly & staying the correct size, with one main duct draining into the correct place (the bile duct & pancreatic duct connect to the Sphincter of Oddi) into the duodenum & so forth with digestion.  THE problem is, mine doesn't do that.  The start of it all was, I was born with TWO pancreatic ducts, which in turn will be the entire culprit in time(just remember this little thing).  December 2011 was the beginning of all my problems for me.  I remember I ate pizza for dinner and in the middle of the night, I woke up & got extremely sick.  I was working in the OR & the flu was going around really bad at work, so I figured I had caught what everyone else had.  Well I was sick for over a week, with increasing pain in my abdomen.  I went to the doctors & they treated me for the vomiting, nausea, dehydration & scheduled a whole abdominal study for when I was better to make sure it wasn't anything further.  We scheduled an abdominal x-ray, abdominal ultrasound, upper GI study to rule out ulcers, acid reflux, aortic issues & any other issues.  Everything came back negative except the labs & ultrasound. My bile duct was inflamed as well as my gallbladder, along with findings of sludge within the GB.  We scheduled the removal of the GB & that was done.  I specifically asked if this would make me feel better because at this point I was MISERABLE, in intense pain, & just really sick.  I was told "OH yeah, you'll be good as new". WELL the GB was removed & I was even worse than before.  I was admitted to the hospital within a week post removal, my liver enzymes & pancreas enzymes were off the charts, I couldn't keep anything down & no could understand why I was so sick.  They did an MRCP, EGD ultrasounds, CT scans & just couldn't figure out what was going on & why my labs kept going up & not down. After a week in the hospital, my labs started to resolve some, but I was still in intense abdominal pain, absolutely miserable & just couldn't really function.  They put me on a low-fat diet at discharge, from being on NPO & clears in the hospital that first time around, & I was scheduled to see a specialist.  I continued to see doctors in Greenville without any resolution to what was causing my abdominal pain & elevated enzymes.  I was admitted one additional time for elevated enzymes within this time period for the labs & abdominal pain without a resolution. 
In November of 2012 I went to MUSC & had my first ERCP.  They performed pressure testing that showed pressure testings triple what the normal pressure should be in the bile duct at the time of testings. This is a confirmation of Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction.  During the ERCP the specialist also found a Pancreatic Divisum.  Pancreatic Divisum is where you're born with two pancreatic ducts & the MUSC specialist was pretty certain this was the cause of the increasing abdominal pain (as well as the SOD) & the elevated enzymes.  I was in early stages of acute/chronic pancreatitis.  I was prescribed a low dose narcotic pain medicine to try to reduce the pain & keep the pancreas inflammation down to stop the attacks from happening again.  In June 2013, I went back to MUSC, had another ERCP, my pancreatic duct & biliary duct pressures were double & triple the pressures they should have been again, which meant the sphincterotomy they did the first time around didn't help as much as they should have.  They performed another sphincterotomy on both ducts, (the major duct of the pancreatic duct not dorsal, or smaller duct in my case) & put a stent in my bile & major pancreatic duct that should pass on their own in some time.  The stents were suppose to keep the ducts open longer & help with the pressure build-up & pain.  I felt no relief in that therapy & almost immediately was back in pain, which was a real bummer.  Every procedure up until that point I was CERTAIN was going to be the last one.. I truly was over surgeries & procedures & ready to be better!!
In December 2013 I started seeing a pancreatic specialist here in Greenville, who has truly been a God-send blessing!! He has done a lot of surgeries on me, which has been a negative effect, but he has truly helped me a lot to get to where I am at, which in turn is a positive.  I have an official diagnosis of chronic pancreatitis as of January 2014 after having my first ERCP with my doctor & he also said how sensitive my pancreas was.  I have been admitted close to if not 15+ times in the last year to year in a half... I've had to have ERCPs every 2-3 months due to my stents not holding out in my body like they're suppose to.  I've been receiving successful stent therapy in my biliary duct for my Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction, & the stents should last up to 5 months & my body tears them up in 2-3 months with stones & sludge build up.  My major pancreatic duct is SO incredible small, my doctor couldn't even get a guide wire through it, to clean it, much less a stent to open it.. my dorsal duct, which is suppose to be the small of the two ducts has held up & my doctor has been able to stent that duct, although every time he goes in to clean it out, it's very sludgey & messy & it's scarring every time he goes in & is having to attempt to put a longer stent every time he goes in.. Sooner or later he will run out of duct to stent & it'll all be scarred.
In February (Well the last week of January) I was put on full pancreatic rest, which meant my doctor wanted me to try TPN for 6-12 weeks.. those 6 turned into 12 very quick.. NPO but minimal clear liquids SUCKED.  I did it like a champ though. Mom & I would hook me up & we'd walk the mall daily with my TPN running & I'd get my daily exercise.. 
With having an invisible illness, you hear ALL the time, how you don't look sick, there's nothing wrong with you, how you're not sick, "you look fine so you should feel fine" & the list continues. It wasn't until I was put on Pancreatic rest & had a PICC line placed & on continuous TPN, that people kind of got the hint how serious my illness really was.  Even then, I had people coming up to my face, when I was connected to my TPN, IV tubing hanging out of my arm & everything, telling me "there's nothing wrong with you," Pretty much insinuating it was all in my head.. Yeah I am making up this extreme pain, TRUST ME, let me give you 30 minutes of the pain CP causes & I am sure you'll give it back.  NO one wishes for this, and I sure as hell wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!! ALWAYS remember, just because someone looks a-OK on the outside, doesn't mean they can't or don't have a fierce disease eating them alive on the inside. 
Our hopes the pancreatic rest would decrease the inflammation did not work much.  It worked for about 2.5 months & I had another major attack.  In July, I was hospitalized almost the entire month of July (except 6 days!! Can you say I was OVER that place!!)  I had a surgery called Splanchnicectomy, where they cut 4 port holes into my back, deflated my lung & cut the nerves connected to my pancreas to try to cut down on my pain receptors in hopes that would help cut down on my pain I've been having.  We thought we had a very successful surgery; a home run if you will; unfortunately my results have not been the results we were hoping for! My pain was reduced for a while, but stress levels & situations increased those levels intensively.
In January of last year my doctor mentioned to me about having my pancreas removed & I honestly tuned him out.  I wanted nothing to do with the conversation or the situation.  I didn't want my pancreas removed or have a major surgery, so I basically didn't want anything to do with it.  I wasn't happy he was bringing it up after my first major hospitalization in about a year & I felt like he was giving up on me, so I said just give my body some time; I'll get better.. "No worries"  I just knew I'd be ok!  HA WHO WAS I KIDDING!!
We'll now a year & a half later, I've sucked my pride in, unfortunately & I told my doctor I'd listen to what the doctors he wanted to send me to say at least, but I wasn't committing to anything yet... SOOO I went to MUSC, TPN backpack & all, and I listened to what they had to say, I really liked the surgeon, Dr. Kat Morgan, & the whole transplant team & very caring & supportive.  I did the entire workup--which LET ME TELL YA isn't easy.. 10 sticks in 3 hours.. NO THANKS NOT AGAIN (HA that will happen again I'm SURE!)  I met with the psychiatrist to make sure I wasn't crazy & that I had a brain.. I DO! I have a good support system, apparently according to MUSC Behavioral Medicine lol, and I am fit & cleared for surgery, whatever that means LOL.. Honestly I don't think I'll EVER be completely ready for this surgery.. I'm VERY thankful I met an amazingly wonderful lady down there who will be my forever friend who had the surgery & I've already become very close with her.. She's been wonderful with questions I've had, a shoulder to just talk too & text just about anything too.. & We're so much a like, with us both having SOD & pancreatic divisum because that's so rare.. & so she could relate to my situation very we'll to my before & she'll be there to help a lot post surgery too!! I'm very thankful!!
My current situation is awaiting a surgery schedule date for a total pancreatectomy.  I just recently came out of a hospitalization & surgery for a stent exchange & I am praying & willing my pancreas to act right until this surgery so we don't have to aggravate it until then.  The more you touch the pancreas & irritate it, the more it will become inflamed & the more my islet cells can become damaged & I need those little things to be as healthy for me & my transplant as possible!!   

I've tried every alternative out there before coming to terms with this option.  I've tried all the medical intervention given to me; pancreatic rest (feeding tube/TPN), clear liquids, full liquids, NPO diet, low-fat diet under 20g a day for over 2 years with no results, numerous ERCPs, stent therapy, EUS, MRCP imaging, acupuncture, herbal therapy, massages, antioxidants, any diet you can think of I've tried (gluten free, diary free, etc):  nothing has altered the pain level or made any of the symptoms go away.
I've come to terms that you can do the best you can in your life but in the end it's up to God to do the rest.  It's his ultimate plan & you've got to leave it up to him to finish it & be at peace with what you decide & how he chooses it for you. Be Brave.

My Options:  A Trade off, NOT the Cure.

I hear this DAY IN & DAY OUT:  When will you be cured??  Will they find a cure for you?  Once this is ALL over for you..& you're ALL better!! Can you get a transplant for your pancreas?  Why can't you just get a transplant?  If I had a dollar, or even a nickle for every time I heard that I'd be rich by now!!!
Unfortunately this will NEVER be the case in my case.  I'll be TRADING one disease for another.. yeah sounds pretty grim in a way, but in my eyes for what I've been going through & what I could be trading it for.. HEY I'll take it honestly.. The uncertainly is scary as hell, HECK YEAH! and I have fear of the unknown ALL THE TIME.. I think about it all the time.. but I can't let that part get to me, I have to just give all of that fear up to God & find peace in my decision.  If I didn't that fear will eat me alive & it will truly hinder my recovery & I CAN'T HAVE THAT nor have that STRESS on my body!! NO GOOD!!  I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to get through a day with this disease, and for being alive.  I'm SO thankful just to be alive with this disease inside of me.. with all the havoc it's causing me daily, I truly am blessed by God for that, and to be able to have this choice of an option of surgery, or any options period!! Thank you O Theos!!

FIRST OFF, to get the big elephant quest out of the room, I can't have a whole organ pancreas done.  I am NOT a candidate for that type of transplant nor do they truly do them very often.  They are EXTREMELY rare & when done, they are typically done whole pancreas, along with a kidney & given to brittle type 1 diabetics who's pancreas' aren't working for them at all, as well as are they on dialysis.   This is why I would not qualify for this, & let's pray I never have to think about this!!

The surgery is called a Total Pancreatectomy with Auto Islet Cell Transplantation, meaning they totally remove your pancreas, then they harvest the pancreas to receive as many of the islet cells as possible for your auto(own self) transplant of those islet cells(insulin making cells).  The normal, healthy pancreas has approx. 1 million islet cells & who's to know how any they'll receive on your own harvest (a good harvest a good hundred thousand if not more!!)  They are transplanted into the liver through the portal vein, & even when they're safe in their 'new home' some can die off, because our livers are "hostile environments". Once the pancreas is removed, you automatically become a diabetic.  With every 'bout of pancreatitis your pancreas more than likely lost some islets along the way with the inflammation so you need to think & plan for that as well.  If you're not diabetic now, you should plan on becoming type 1 diabetic after the surgery because who's to know how many islets they'll harvest & what's to happen post surgery.  Plus, they tell you to plan on becoming diabetic post surgery, & it's called surgically induced diabetes but it's truly type 1 diabetes.  Plan for the worst & pray & hope for the best.  Along with the pancreas being removed, they'll remove the gallbladder, if not already removed, spleen, because it has a large blood supply with the pancreas & there may not be a 100% chance of all pancreatic tissue removal if all left; bile duct & duodenum.  This is a very major surgery & according to one of the hospitals that does this surgery "The day after surgery You will be getting the same amount of pain medication that the whole hospital uses in a day (all the patients combined)."  It's been quoted that this surgery is one of the worst surgeries known to man, especially in the recovery period.  It can take months after the surgery for recovery to progress, and take up to year for your body to fully recover.  This DOES NOT mean you will not feel like yourself after a few weeks, or months, but this does mean it is a very slow process and if you are considering this surgery for yourself, remember you can not get frustrated when you have some good days, followed by really bad days & vice versa.  I am striving for that day when I get to say I am officially OFF of my heavy pain medication & hopefully nausea medications!! I'm dreaming of those days!!
Coming out of the surgery, I'll have about a 50% chance of having diabetes forever, although I'll have to treat myself like a diabetic after surgery at least minimum a year with checking blood sugars, insulin injections, diabetic diet, every 3months A1C checks to check the islet cells & my body & may be longer or forever.  I've spoken with my family a lot about ending up with post-surgery diabetes & their thoughts about trading the pancreatitis for diabetes, & every one of them have all been pro-surgery & have all expressed how I can't go on the way I am right now.. every month/2months in the hospital, constant pain, medications, always pretty bad days, unable to eat due to CP, where as I can trade all of that in for a life in my late 20s, healthy, able to eat, diabetes?!, but healthy outside of the hospital!!  "DO IT!"(very firmly)
Now I know what you may be thinking; WOW, why would you want to go through such a surgery with all that pain, just to trade one disease for another; Well because I'm ready for the NEW/old me to come back.. For the sickly Tiff to go away forever.  The discoveries in diabetes in just the last few years have been amazing, and I figured my ending up with diabetes, I can do that.  Who's to know what the medical field will have out for diabetes in the next few years, much less 10 years for diabetes you know.. but chronic pancreatitis.. I may not be able to hold on 10 more years for that to happen.. much less 2 more years with this disease eating at my organs every time I have an attack & sends me back into the hospital.  My doctors are telling me it's a matter of WHEN not IF as to when I have that surgery & when that WHEN happens, it'll be too late for my pancreas at that point, & the organ will be too damaged & when they do the surgery they'll just be throwing it into medical waste.. I'll end up without any islet cell retrieval & I'll be a brittle diabetic.. the worst possible.. extreme high's & lows, my sugars will not be controlled very well..pump required because the highs & lows are so dangerous & they put your body at so much risk! I'll be at risk for extreme medical problems with limbs, vision problems, kidney issues, along with SO many other issues.. I can't take that chance.
So in the end, with my options being very thin at this point, I am following my faith in God & prayers, but going with my gut, as well as my family members guiding me along & heading in the direction of removal of the pancreas.  Getting the diseased organ out to solve the problem seems the right way to go..God will be with me every step of the way!! Be Brave!

There are SO many of us out there that aren't diagnosed yet & are suffering just as I did for years.. a lot longer than I did unfortunately & we get brushed off unfortunately as "drug seekers" Pancreatitis is SUCH a dangerous disease & if left untreated can result in tissue death, recurrent attacks, kidney damage, damage of liver & other organs as well as even death of extreme cases. The pancreas is such a sensitive organ than many forget about until it's sick or damaged for good!
Thanks for sticking with me through this extremely long blog post & wanting to learn more about me & SO many others dealing with this horrid disease.  Any awareness spread is awareness!! Much love to you guys!!
XO -T